Focus on how you feel
Over the last couple of weeks, I have presented questions that require you to think about yourself. This week, I want to shift our focus to how you feel.
Our behaviour and the choices we make are driven by our thinking, however what we think is actually driven by our feelings. I will think differently about a situation if I am anxious, than if I am relaxed.
It is therefore essential to consider our feelings, if we really want to develop an understanding of our emotions and control the way they affect our behaviours.
This week, I want you to simply stop for a couple of minutes and notice what sensations you are experiencing in that moment.
You might notice something physical and external, the pressure of your weight on your seat, or the feel of your clothes on your skin.
You might niotice something through your senses, the sound of a clock, or the smell of dinner cooking, maybe the light of the sun casting patterns on the floor.
You might notice something physical going on internally, tightness in your shoulders, your heart beating, butterflies or a weight in your stomach.
Once you are confident that you are able to recognise sensation in a quiet moment, practice the same exercise whilst considering your confident statements.
What sensations are you aware of when you state ‘I am an honest person’, ‘I want to help others’, ‘I provide for my family’?
This can take time; to begin with you might just notice yourself taking big breaths, you might notice your shoulders relaxing, you might even find you’re smiling!
If you don’t notice anything in relation to a statement, move on to the next statement.
How does it feel to know these things about yourself?
These are the statements that you will come back to, when your confidence is shaken. These sensations can replace those you feel when you doubt yourself, in any scenario.
They don’t mean you will be successful everytime, but they will help remove the self doubt that could be undermining you, they will also support you whether successful or not in remaining confident.
Having confidence doesn’t mean you will feel invincible 100% of the time. Actually it means you accept the inevitable setbacks, and recognise them as a normal part of life, but when you are faced with them, you have knowledge about yourself that you are proud of, that you know will see you through, however difficult the time.